Calvin and Hobbes: Going to School
by Puddleduckling
Summary: This is just a story on Calvin's normal life. I know it's not so good, but please Read and Review!
1. The Evil Arch Nemesis

alvin & Hobbes: Going to School  
  
Author's note: I'm very sorry to see that Calvin has little respect for his parents, teachers, etc, but I must not change his personality, because this is only a fan fiction. I know it's not so good how this story keeps on switching from Calvin's POV to 3rd person, I'm wondering if I should change this...   


  
**Prologue**  
  
As the sun appeared over the hills, a strange figure drinking coffee came into view. The figure looked toward the clock, and without the slightest sound stood up and scurried up the stair case.  
  
**Chapter 1. **The Evil Arch Nemesis  


  
I hide under my blankets as my arch nemesis' footsteps grow louder. Zounds! What louder footsteps could this monster have?! I can see it in my mind... She will snatch me from my cosy lair... and...  
  
GLORP BURP GROMPIN! BOOKA UUG NUG WAK! What?! (Translation: Calvin, wake up! Get ready for school! You're going to be late!) Oh no! The door's opening! The door creaks as I squeeze my eyes shut. For a moment or two, it actually looks like I might be able to sleep longer. But nooooo, do you expect this cruel monster to let me get the sleep I need?   
  
GLORP! BOOKA MUCK BAA UCK WAHO! YO BA WUK NA HIC! (Translation: Calvin! Get out of bed this instant! I don't want to have to drive you to school! Change your clothes and eat breakfast!) The Arch Nemesis thunders.   
Of course, I protested, but I knew my nemesis would be victorious. I was pulled out from beneath my blankets as the monster glared at me right in the eye. I reluctantly slid off my warm bed.  
  
I screamed, falling onto the ice-cold . What else could you have expected from this Arch Nemesis?  
  
After I changed my clothes, I was roughly pushed all the way downstairs. What madness was this, when I, Spaceman Spiff, had to be ruled by an evil dictator of Zok?! As I ate my breakfast, I secretly pulled out my super sonic blaster and quietly turned toward the Arch Nemesis. I quickly pulled the trigger, setting off thousands of bullets at my nemesis.  
  
Hah! Take that! And that! And that! YES! Spaceman Spiff is victorious! The Arch Nemesis is backing off!   
  
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Short, but R & R please!


	2. Terrifying News

**Chapter 2. **Terrifying News  


  
GLORP!! GRUMPH WAKA NUK WAK!! The Arch Nemesis yelled. (Translation: Calvin! Stop that, or I'm going to take away your stupid little whap gun!)  
  
Spiff is free! No longer will he have to be under the control of the Zok! I ran for the door. His mom ran after him, close at his heels. She grabbed Calvin's leg, tripping him.  
  
No! No! I don't want to go to school! I don't need education! It's pointless! I can do what I want to do! Let me go! You're awful! What happens to freedom?! Calvin's mom ignored his tantrum.  
  
You're going to be late! The bus is coming! His mom kicked him out of the house.  
  
Calvin reluctantly walked over to the bus stop, grumbling all the way. The bus had already come, and the door opened just as he arrived.   
  
Hi Calvin! Calvin looked up to see Susie Derkins entering the bus.  
  
Calvin muttered with a sour look on his face.  
  
You weirdo. Susie rolled her eyes. Did you finish your book report for the contest? Miss Wormwood said that she'd give a prize to the person who wrote the best book report!  
  


Calvin's Point of View  
  


I shook with horror at Susie's words. I'd forgotten about the report! GAAA! I definitely do not want to hear any of Susie's lectures.  
  
Of course, I've wrote a 10 pages report on Hop on Pop! I declared proudly (But not so proudly inside) as I fell into the back seat, where nobody was sitting. Here I would work on my paper, with the 20 minutes drive left. Why am I doing this? Look, once in a while, I SHOULD get a C or B, since Mom and Dad think it's so rare of me to get a grade like that. Hopefully they'll get me a Nuclear Bomb I asked Santa to get me on Christmas. He doesn't ever seem to get my mail anymore. Not even when I was good for a whole week! A WHOLE WEEK!  


-----------  


I finally completed the Exhausting report, and here's what it looks like:  


  
HOp aND PoP  
By CaLVin the GeNius  
^  
SUpEr  
hOP oN pOP waS wRITteN bY Dr  
SUeSs. (NoTE tHAt hE iS aN AwfUl WRiTEr)  
  
HoP oN poP iS A vErY inTEreSTINg stoRy oN   
hoW Pop, wHo LiVEd iN thE cOlOny of ZoK   
oN tHE pLAnET oF MaRs is hoPPEd oN. poP   
suffErS greEtLy fROm hIS AnNoyING kiDS   
anD hAS To gO tO tHe EMERgenCy rOoM.   
  
iN thE emERgeNCY roOm, sInCe hE Is A PaTIEnT  
aND kNowS hoW to CuRE DISIesEs,  
hE reAds A bOoK tO tHE DoCTor whO iS iLL,  
AnD finDS meDICine thAT cuREs tHE   
doCtOR. hE cUREs maNy oThEr DoctoRs,  
aND hiS aNnoYinG kIDS hOp oN him.  
  
hE iS FiNaLly kICKEd ouT oF tHE ZoK coLony,  
fOR cuRInG toO mAnY mOnSTErs. aS hE wENT   
oUt oF THe ZoK CoLOny, HE meT A MONstER  
nAMEd Pop whO aTE HIm.  
  
i ExPeCT To GEt an A oN tHIs FiNE worK.  
  
CalViN the GenIUS  
^  
Super  
  


Pretty impressive isn't it? I finished it just as the bus reached school. I filed it in some old dirty smashed file I found in my bag. Miss Wormwood would definitely have to fall for this one. I doubt she's even read Hop and Pop before. Well, I haven't either, that's why my report is so good! It shows how I can put two and two together from the title and find out what happened in the story!  
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R&R!


	3. Lunch

**Chapter 3. **Lunch Time!**  
**  
PSST... Susie! What's 5+6? Quick before the teacher sees me!  
  
Shh! Were not supposed to talk in class. Do it yourself. Susie glared back.   
  
Having a pleasant conversation, Miss Derkins?  
  
  
  
Perhaps you'd like to sit up front, so you won't distract Calvin anymore. Miss Wormwood shoved Susie up front.  
  
Oh, I-  
  
--------------------------  
I'm sorry to interrupt, but I, the author, would like to put in a word that from Chapter 4 to what Calvin was about to say right now was taken from a comic strip. Well, except that I changed a little bit of it and made it math class, not science class. Back to you, Calvin.  
------------------------  
Oh, I TRIED to get her to be quiet, but you know how girls are.  


  
  
But Miss Wormwood! Calvin was-  
  
No buts!  
  
She was so noisy, she kept on trying to cheat me into telling her all the answers. Calvin pointed out.  
  
After that, he got sent to the principal's office for sleeping in Reading class. He got an F on Spelling.  
  
Finally...  
  
LUNCH.  
  
Calvin, as usual, had to sit next to Susie.  
  
Hey Susie! Do you want to see what I brought for lunch today? He asked, grinning widely.  
  
If it's disgusting, forget it. Susie rolled her eyes.  
  
Don't worry, it's not. Today I got a tuna fish sandwich. He shoved the sandwich in Susie's face, making Susie wince.   
  
It's amazing knowing you actually know what's not gross. Susie bit into her food with a scowl.  
  
It's my desert that's so disgusting! Calvin explained. See? I got a worm-eaten slug covered apple! Where does Mom get this kind of disgusting food?! Oh, YUCK! Look at those slugs! They're moving!  
  
I'm not sitting next to you anymore. Susie said, disgusted. She started to leave the table.   
  
AAGH! The slugs! They're attacking me! Oh no! They're falling onto the table! Calvin screamed. He grabbed his bottle of milk and started hitting the slugs(which was actually apple sauce).  
  
DIE! DIE! DIE!! Calvin repeatedly slammed his bottle, crushing the slugs. He soon noticed that Susie had gone over to another table.  
  
I don't understand why she always goes away, that was exciting! Calvin grumbled.  



	4. The Contest

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes.**  
  
Chapter 5.** Alright class, get out your reports.  
  
Calvin dashed into his class room and sat down at his desk.  
  
Today, we have judges here to grade the reports, since whoever wins will have their report printed in a newspaper. Miss Wormwood explained. Who would like to read their report first? An-  
  
Calvin raised his hand.   
  
Anybody OTHER than Calvin? Oh, Candace, how about you? Miss Wormwood called over Candace.  
  
This report is about Robin Hood and his Merry men...   
Calvin, of course, was getting bored again. He started staring at the clock. Minutes ticked by. It was almost three. Now Calvin was rapping his fingers against his desk.   
  
Ok Calvin, you can read your report now-ww... Miss Wormwood's voice sounded like an echo to Calvin. In a few seconds, he was asleep.   
  


********  
----------------  
The next part is first person.  
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I woke with a start. The Zok Arch Nemesis' Side kick stood infront of me, holding out a ruler with something that seems to be a hand.  
  
GLORP, BUUGA WAK UKA WOCK HAK! (Translation: Calvin! Don't sleep in class! Get up there and read your report!) What it is saying, I do not know.   
  
  
  
This monster is amazing. I have heard the Arch Nemesis say the same word! Maybe it means... Uhh...  
  
Glorp is asleep. I answered. All the other monsters around me started making weird laughing noises.   
  
Suddenly-  


POOF!  
  
  
  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
  


  
I blinked. Oh I see! I was back to being Calvin.  
  
Uhh... Yeah Miss Wormwood? I grinned sheepishly.  
  
  
  
Um, yeah, sure. I got up from my desk and ran over to the front of the class.  
  
Ahem. This report is on Hop on Pop. With this kind of long report, Miss Wormwood will HAVE to give an A+. Here's the tip kids. Even if the report isn't good, if it's long, you'll definitely get an A+. I started rambling on about all those ways of getting A+, but then Miss Wormwood stopped me.  
  
Calvin? Please read your report.   
  
Ahem. As I said, this is a report on Hop on Pop. This Dr. Suess person who wrote the book became an alzheimer and could only remember how to say his poems. He grew to be known as the fast talker Suess. For some unknown reason (Or known reason), the class burst into laughter.  
  
HEY, THIS IS MY REPORT, NOT YOURS, YOU PEA BRAINS!!  
  
Calvin, I need to see you for a moment.  
  
Great.  
  


Yes Miss Wormwood?  
  
I can understand that you didn't prepare one bit for your report. Didn't you even read Hop on Pop?! Great, now she's yelling.  
  


* * * * * *  
  


I'M HOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I know what's coming... I gotta hide! Ack, here comes Hobbes! I'm too late!  
  
UMPH!  
  
TUMBLE ROLL CRASH  
  
How did school go? Oh yes, innocent little Hobbes...  
  
It was AWFUL. Except for the part where Miss Wormwood caught Susie talking to me! HAHAHAHA!   
  
What? Susie was talking to YOU? Oh yes, Super Detective Hobbes...  
  
Well... More like Miss Wormwood thought she was talking to me. I replied coolly.  
  
I see... And you didn't tell Miss Wormwood what really happened? Of course, you are Calvin... Goody-two-shoe Hobbes...  
  
So, what happened at school today?  
  
It was SO awful. Susie asked me if I finished my report, and I'd forgotten about the report contest! So I had to write a report in the bus on Hop on Pop! Then at school, I got sent to the principals office again, and at the report contest, I fell asleep. Miss Wormwood woke me up, and I had to read dumb report. Miss Wormwood gave me an F! Can you believe it? This kind of GOOD, WELL-WRITTEN report! And she rejected it! I stopped to catch my breath.  
  
You've read Hop on Pop before? Hobbes, PLEASE stop asking me so many questions...  
  
I replied dully.  
  
Then why couldn't you have written a report on Hamster Hewie and the Gooey Cablooey?! Great, this time it was Hobbes who was yelling.  
  
Hmm... I didn't think of that. Maybe I should write another report and send it in. Miss Wormwood might accept it.  



	5. Last chapterShould I write a sequel?

Disclaimer: I do NOT, own Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
A/N: This is my last chapter, tell me if I should write a sequel or not. I'm thinking about it.**  
  
Chapter 5.** Even more terrifying news  


CALVIN!! Come downstairs and get into the bath! My mom called.  
  
I groaned.   
  
Tell Hobbes to take the bath, he always licks himself! I don't need a bath! I'm not dirty! I don't want to take baths like other people! I'm my own person! I shouted back.  
  
Hobbes is going into the washing machine tomorrow. Now come downstairs!  
  
I sighed and started for the staircase. I turned to look at the clock.  
  
Say, why am I taking the bath so early? I asked.  
  
Your baby-sitter's coming over while your dad and I go out.  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Please, please, let me go with you and Dad! PLEASE! I'm BEGGING YOU!  
  
Sorry, but you have to stay home. We'll be back around 8 PM.  
  
  


* * * * * *  
  


Stupendous Man, champion of Liberty, and Best Tiger Hobbes listen closely as they use super hearing to detect the evil baby-sitter. Loud footsteps can be heard. They are approaching. We cannot get out.  
  
Best Tiger Hobbes, guns ready?  


THE END  
  


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Please remember to give me your opinion on whether to write a sequel or not. Of course, I understand if you don't like this fanfiction... I'll accept anything. Just tell me if I should write a sequel. R&R!


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